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The Tablet That Nobody Really Wants…

Posted on August 3, 2009 by Jeremy Toeman

All of them.

Wired claims 2010 is the year of the tablet. Let’s face it, however much they sound dreamy (even I’ve speculated on wanting one in the past), in practical reality tablets generally suck.  They are both a worse laptop than a laptop, and a worse touch-input device than a piece of paper I can scan with my cheapo HP all-in-one printer/scanner/fax/sock darner combo device.  So this is my “I don’t care what they say in the focus group, nobody’s buying your crappy tablet” intervention blog post.

Tablets suck at handwriting recognition. The dream of a touch-screen is you can easily edit/mark up your documents, and, as if by magic, the edits transform into your Word doc in a useful manner.  Instead you get edts tht looh lik ths, intermixed with the occasional number and odd symbol.

Tablets suck to carry around. It’s too big for your pocket, and probably too big for your murse.  Which means you need a laptop bag.  Which means you might as well carry a… laptop.

Tablets make you tired. The ergonomic problems with a laptop are bad enough. Where am I going to carry the tablet such that constant use doesn’t get exhausting?  The only worse user interface is the full hand motion system from Minority Report. Seriously, have you seen Tom Cruise’s biceps? they got huge after *that* movie!

Tablets can’t share nicely with others. So let’s pretend your tablet comes with some fancy new visual editing tool.  Well, how do you get that useful data back to the other 99.9% of people you have to interact with?  PDF?  I don’t think so.  Although I do assume that Apple would make some proprietary app that *would* work well, but that’s not the point.

Tablets suck at hiding smudges. The spittle residue on my MacBook screen is fairly intense.  I can’t imagine how my greasy french-fry-eating fingers are going to make any tablet look.  And yes, I’ve seen your iPhone, and I carry wipes around just so I don’t have to put it next to my head.  Gross.

Tablets are bad Web browsers. I still applaud the CrunchPad team for their hard work, but I have no idea why anyone thinks surfing a Web page on a tablet with fingers is better, easier, or faster than doing the same with my laptop.  Ditto for anyone else’s tablet.  Plus, when I have to input anything, which is always, I don’t really want a virtual keyboard that will, by definition, work worse than the one on my laptop.

Tablets are priced poorly. What’s the “magic” price point for this thing?  $200? No way it’ll be any good.  $800? Buy a MacBook.  $500? Buy a 3G NetBook.  There is no price point that makes sense, other than as a gimmicky product for those with too much money lying around.  Who will, for the record, all purchase one as soon as they come out.

Tablets suck at everything else. IM? Won’t work well. Video chat? Won’t work well. Spreadsheets? Nope.  About the only other thing a tablet will be good at is a finger painting application, which my 2-year-old would love.  For about 5 minutes until his short attention span moves onto the cardboard box he was playing with yesterday. Oh, and FreeCell – a tablet would be a killer FreeCell device.  Awesome.

So there you have it.  Sorry teams Apple TouchBook, CrunchPad, Windows Tablet Home Premium Ultimate 7 Edition (service pack 8), I know there is crazy hard work and tremendous effort going on in the labs.  But I think until literally all of the above problems are solved, this is a non-category.

But if you do figure it out, I’m buying!

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Posted in Mobile Technology, That's Janky | Tags: Apple, crunchpad, netbook, tablet, touch-screen | 41 Comments |

Five Random Thoughts: Beatles Rock Band, Social Gaming, beeTV, CrunchPad, Palm Pre

Posted on June 6, 2009 by Jeremy Toeman

I’ve been told I’m a ‘long format blogger’ – most of my posts are fairly long (typically overly so). As a result my posts tend to take a while to write, which means I need to block out (too much) time to get them up.  And I seem to have less and less free time all the time these days, plus by the time I’m writing something, it seems like a thousand others have already written something related to what I’d write.  While I know I shouldn’t feel biased by others’ writings, at the end of the day I feel that if I’m not saying something original, what’s the point?

So in an effort to get some thoughts across, I’m going to try to do the occasional “roundup” post on a few topics all at once.  This is the first of said posts.

  1. Rock Band, Beatles Edition
    I’m not sure which game I’m more excited about, this or Modern Warfare 2.  I love The Beatles music, and I love Rock Band, so that’s a huge win. Plus I like the idea of a non-hard core version of Rock Band.  If you haven’t seen the preview, check it out here:
  2. Social Gaming
    The new enhancements to the Xbox Dashboard include integration with Facebook and Twitter.  I have a feeling most of the features will be overkill and rarely used by the majority of Xbox owners, but there is a clear improvement needed to integrating social networking and gaming.  The key missing element in my opinion is an easier way to find your friends within the Xbox Live experience.  Hopefully direct integration with the services I use for networking will help me find and connect with people in my gaming world.
  3. beeTV
    A startup raised another $8 million to provide recommendations for watching TV shows.  This is now 10 consecutive years of me watching companies try to enter this space and fail.  Further, these guys are doing deals with cable and set-top companies, two segments notoriously perilous for relying on for a business to succeed.  Who knows, maybe these guys will find that magic touch, but my hunch is (a) there isn’t a real problem in this space, and (b) making a sustainable income stream will be extremely challenging.
  4. Crunchpad
    I applaud the crunch team for their efforts on building the Crunchpad.  But I have concerns over the device itself.  First, the market – I don’t see a web tablet (at any price) effectively replacing a laptop for simple surfing, it doesn’t make sense.  Second, the usage – it’s either going to be tiring to hold it up, or it goes into the lap, which again, brings the laptop back into the scene.  Ultimately I see it as a “bread machine” type of gadget (purchased, used for a little while, then slowly migrating out of daily life until it gets regifted). I’ll be curious to see what comes of it.
  5. Palm Pre
    Reviews are saying it’s solid. Sprint’s said they anticpate a shortage. I believe both statements are accurate.  But I also believe it will never supplant the iPhone or BlackBerry, and I also believe the initial orders placed by Sprint are in low volumes relative to those products.  I think the product is probably going to be pretty solid, but I think it’s too-little, too-late for Palm.  I know back in the day I didn’t think people would switch to AT&T for the iPhone (I was wrong), but I can’t imagine iPhone people switching to Sprint for the Pre.  Maybe I’ll be wrong again…

Well, that’s my first attempt at a “ripped from the headlines” kind of post.  Feedback, comments, and spirited debate are very welcome.

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Posted in Gadgets, Gaming, General, Mobile Technology, Video/Music/Media | Tags: beatles, beetv, crunchpad, facebook, iphone, palm pre, rock band, social networking, Sprint, twitter, xbox | 3 Comments |

About

Jeremy Toeman is a seasoned Product leader with over 20 years experience in the convergence of digital media, mobile entertainment, social entertainment, smart TV and consumer technology. Prior ventures and projects include CNET, Viggle/Dijit/Nextguide, Sling Media, VUDU, Clicker, DivX, Rovi, Mediabolic, Boxee, and many other consumer technology companies. This blog represents his personal opinion and outlook on things.

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