• About

LIVEdigitally

Pirating Standards Disappoint Me

Posted on May 27, 2005 by Guest Contributor

Frequently, living digitally is about making the day to day things we use to do our jobs and live our lives better. Note I didn’t say bigger and better, since part of living digitally is also about making everything we have that works just fine as it is as teeny tiny as humanly possible. Not to get off on a tangent, (well not much of one) but I fully expect that one day I will learn to type 60-80 wpm with tweezers that hold special miniature dialing wands that tap keys on a miniature keyboard.

Tangent aside, the goal is for us to make everything better, and for the most part, we do just that with our technology. EXCEPT… when it comes to pirating.
If you look over the history of pirates, which is something I’ve done– albeit not very thoroughly since initially I just liked the hats pirates wear– you’ll notice a disturbing trend.

We’ve gone from this:

(Ok fine, he isn’t a REAL pirate, but he played one on the big screen and he’s awfully attractive so just work with me here.)

To this:

My point being that once upon a time, if you wanted to steal stuff, you had to put on a cute little outfit like Mr. Errol Flynn has on, and you had to wave a sword and you had to jump on somebody else’s ship and beat them up and THEN take their stuff.

But now, NOW all you have to do is click a button at your computer and you’re a pirate, arrr. Don’t get me wrong, I see the appeal of the insta-pirate ways we have today. In fact I’m willing to confess that in times past I enjoyed the occasional illegal mp3 download while sporting what I *still* consider to be a rather fetching eyepatch and pirate hat.

However, I also must fairly recognize that this is nowhere NEAR the rigorous standards for piracy that we used to have. And the worst part is, it makes for AWFUL movies. Do YOU want to watch someone download mp3s? Take a look at a potential pirate character for such a film that I’ve whipped together: Arr, here be the most cutthroat scurvy pirate of the internet. Captain Downloads-things-he’s-not-supposed-to –his very name strikes terror into the hearts of geeks everywhere– will be out downloading things he’s not supposed to. QUAKE IN FEAR!

My point being, would you rent such a film? Well I hope not, because you could probably get it off the internet for free…

We could fix this pirating problem very easily. On a simple level, what we could do is make a rule that before you illegally download something, you have to punch somebody in the face first and yell ‘aaarrrr!’

On a more complex level, one that would require government support, I suggest we place illegal mp3 downloaders aboard ships. Then we make a rule that if you want to download stuff, you have to attack another ship full of mp3 downloaders, beat up everyone on that ship (maybe punch somebody in the face) and THEN you can steal the mp3s.

The thing is, nobody ever takes my suggestions seriously. So I reckon we’re stuck with slipping pirate standards, and I for one am horribly disappointed about it.

Share this:

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Reddit

Related

Posted in General | 1 Comment
« Digital Traveling
UpSnap What's That Number? »

One thought on “Pirating Standards Disappoint Me”

  1. feeling entropy says:
    May 27, 2005 at 12:55 pm

    Arrrr, ya land luvers!
    we should just not use the term pirate. use the term “thefters” or something… how about “copywright infringers”?

    bittorrent+pirates? yea… i think cannon balls and polly want a cracker.

    lovely

    Reply

Leave a comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About

Jeremy Toeman is a seasoned Product leader with over 20 years experience in the convergence of digital media, mobile entertainment, social entertainment, smart TV and consumer technology. Prior ventures and projects include CNET, Viggle/Dijit/Nextguide, Sling Media, VUDU, Clicker, DivX, Rovi, Mediabolic, Boxee, and many other consumer technology companies. This blog represents his personal opinion and outlook on things.

Recent Posts

  • Back on the wagon/horse?
  • 11 Tips for Startups Pitching Big Companies
  • CES 2016: A New Role
  • Everything I Learned (So Far) Working For a Huge Company
  • And I’m Back…

Archives

Pages

  • About

Archives

  • January 2019
  • April 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • May 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • June 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • June 2006
  • May 2006
  • April 2006
  • March 2006
  • February 2006
  • January 2006
  • December 2005
  • November 2005
  • October 2005
  • September 2005
  • August 2005
  • July 2005
  • June 2005
  • May 2005
  • April 2005
  • March 2005
  • February 2005
  • January 2005
  • December 2004
  • November 2004
  • October 2004
  • September 2004

Categories

  • Convergence (81)
  • Gadgets (144)
  • Gaming (19)
  • General (999)
  • Guides (35)
  • LD Approved (72)
  • Marketing (23)
  • Mobile Technology (111)
  • Networking (22)
  • No/Low-tech (64)
  • Product Announcements (85)
  • Product Reviews (109)
  • That's Janky (93)
  • Travel (29)
  • Video/Music/Media (115)
  • Web/Internet (103)

WordPress

  • Log in
  • WordPress

CyberChimps WordPress Themes

© LIVEdigitally
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.