A UK study shows that acne helps your heart
, and kids with acne are less likey to die from coronary heart disease later on in life. I’m going to do some of that ‘reading in-between the lines’ that my high school English teacher always yapped about. Us pimple-faced geeks overclocked our CPUs, and talked about the newest video games in our spare time. While the popular kids spent their weekends drinking, smoking, and having sex with girls that wouldn’t even talk to us lowlife late bloomers. Having acne was a default prerequisite for being a geek, taped glasses and a goofy laugh were secondary. My hypothesis is simple: everyone loves the sweet taste of revenge. I’m starting an investigative study to prove that zit-faced geeks somehow contracted coronary heart disease to those who had it made in high school. Heck, if someone in the UK funded the “Acne Helps Prevent Heart Disease” research, then I’m a shoe in with “Geeks Planted Heart Disease in Popular High School Kids”.