Airbus, maker of regular airplanes, has just made it possible for potential purchasers of planes to supersize their order. That’s right, they’ve created the world’s largest passenger plane, the Airbus A380.
The A380, to summarize here, flew around for awhile and then landed in Toulouse, France. I found the entire procedure technologically impressive- they got 308 tons of plane off the ground, and back on the ground again. I’m sure it took a lot of work.
What concerned me about the article I read on the topic however, was the headline “‘Superjumbo’ A380 lands safely”. I’m of course, pleased the plane landed safely, BUT WHY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH WAS THIS THE SPECIAL PART OF THE FLIGHT? It’s supposed to land safely! What’s next, “‘Oversized’ car with four wheels drives around in a circle without event”?!
I’m sorry, but if they want a pat on the back for landing a plane, which in general, is supposed to have the available feature of safe landing, then I want an article written about how fabulous it is that when I woke up this morning, I continued breathing as I had throughout the night. The plane lands safely really got me thinking though– do they make some planes that don’t land? Is this plane a marvel because Airbus made the biggest plane, or because long ago … perhaps when they designed the Airbus A330 prototype… engineers from the company decided they could save time and money by delaying the addition of the ‘plane is able to land’ feature to a later model?
Some cool features Airbus apparently isn’t going to delay much longer include passenger planes with cocktail bars, double beds and massage parlors. Ok I’m disappointed. Who makes a luxury plane with double beds?! Ca-learly that should be kingsize beds! It’s a superjumbo jet for chrissake. I want to speak to their designer immediately!
Crazier potential features include jacuzzis and mini-casinos. Because there’s nothing more entertaining than being next to a passenger who’s airsick AND having to share a jacuzzi with him at the same time. Except maybe being next to an airsick passenger in a mini-casino at a poker table…. “Um, I… bloorch!” … “The puking guy is bluffing, there’s NO WAY his hand could be that bad. I’m seeing his bet and raising…”
The most hilarious part of the article I read however, was the closing line, where the fuel efficiency of the superjumbo means, ha ha, that the tickets could be cheaper. Yes they COULD BE, except they went and added casinos and beds and other likely Austin Powers-esque features such as shag carpeting and whirling colored lights, which they’ll then have to charge us more for of course.
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